Life is weird.
Profound statement, I know.
Sometimes, I just don’t get us humans. We know what is good for us, but we don’t do it. We know what needs to be done, but we do everything else but that thing.
I know that not everyone is like this, but surely, it can’t be just me.
I’ve had a busy few days and all I’ve wanted to once I got free time today was spend time in the pages of the bible, soaking in His word, and spend time catching up on writing.
So, of course right after church I spent hours on various social media apps, looking for something to fill me up, and I’m still looking.
Interestingly, enough, I did find something on Pinterest that inspired me, and then I laughed at myself because didn’t I just recently write about going directly to God and not getting to him through someone else? And about having whitespace for God, making sure to not fill up all our margins with other things, so we still have the ability to hear Him?
I don’t really feel bad about this, or guilty, or whatever, I just noticed it and find it somewhat amusing.
I find myself reading about other people’s relationships with God and experiences with God and thinking “oh I want that so much” and then I just keep scrolling onto the next thing, twiddling my life away with useless things wondering why I am not having that kind of experience.
I’ve been learning a lot lately, especially since returning to writing on my blog. I don’t even know how many people actually read this thing. It’s not like I’m some well-known blogger or something. But things have changed since when I used to write, back before Facebook when everyone had blogs to keep each other updated. I wrote freely and comfortably, because I knew it was my friends and family reading. And it probably still just is mostly friends and family, but things have changed in the internet world and blogging is a legit thing now and it seems everyone is an expert on something.
It can be tempting for me to write like I know something, and then turn and say “this is what you should be doing”. And I have done that. But in the last week or so, the idea of staying in my own lane has really clicked for me, that what I really want to do is just share my own stories, my own experiences, just as that. Just as mine. Not as a “this is what happened for me and now that means it’s true for all of you as well.” Because maybe it is but maybe it isn’t. And I’m sorry if it ever came across that way. So I’m just going to do my best to share my stories and pray like Paul did for the Colossians, that God will “fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might that you may have great endurance and patience, giving joyful thanks to the Father who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people and in the kingdom of light.”
I trust the Holy Spirit to guide me, and to guide you too.