Sometimes I feel really unaccomplished. I never finished university, I don’t have some fancy degree or letters to add behind my name. Some people I know have gone on to receive their masters or doctorate, or some are living glamorous lives abroad, traveling lots. Some have worked very hard to create their own businesses or work for some different non-profit organizations to make the world a better place.
Very few of the people that I graduated with, whom I was close to, are married and even fewer have children, and here I am, married for 8 years and have 3 children. I feel like I’ve lived my life backwards compared to the majority of my peers.
My life is far from glamorous. I get spit up on, snotted on, sometimes even pooped on. Somedays, Peter and I can barely carry on a conversation about what groceries to buy let alone anything deeper than that. Sometimes I’m so busy meeting the needs of everyone else, that I forget to eat my own lunch or just have to wait until after everyone’s in bed before I get supper. If I want to go out on my own, I have to make plans to do so ahead of time and confirm it with my husband before it is possible. I have very little time to pursue my own passions or hobbies, sometimes I have as few as 15 minutes a day to myself and by then, I’m so exhausted I fall asleep after 10 minutes.
But, though my life may not be glamorous, it is definitely miraculous. I don’t use that word lightly, miraculous. But it is, it truly is. Sometimes, I watch my children while they go about their lives, playing with their toys, colouring, talking with one another. We really take people for granted. There was a time in my life where these three little people didn’t exist. There was a time in life where I didn’t exist. Life was just happening, and I wasn’t there, there was no me. No Peter. There was no Eva, no Ezra, no Isaac.
People are true miracles, how we come into being from two different substances created within the human body (and cannot be artificially replicated). How we grow within our mother’s womb and all of our organs form, millions of little cells, our bones, even our fingernails and eventually we reach a point where we are ready to come and there we are, a little human whose body just functions, whose brain works, and blood pumps, and lungs breathe. And we just grow and grow and we are formed from literally nothing, but we become something, we become people and we think and we hurt and we have ideas and we live life and it is absolutely amazing!
I have experienced this within myself three times now, and have pushed out three fully functioning little humans that were formed within me and grew within me and then emerged as a teeny little person, and continue to grow and grow and grow right before my eyes, learning to sit, to crawl, to walk, to talk, to pee on the potty, to draw, to run, to laugh, to love, to read… and it is truly such an honor to be their mother, and to be that for them. To give of myself to them so that they may grow, to sacrifice my own life to nurture them, to be the one they look to, the one who guides them and raises them. I witness miracles in front of my very eyes every single day.
I may not have a university education or be involved in something that is huge in society’s eyes, but I hope to never forget that I am a mother and I truly distinguished.
This post is a part of a 31 day series in which I write about the extraordinary in my ordinary moments. To see a list of all the other posts, click here.