The lights are dim, there is quiet conversation and clinking of glasses and silverware around us, and I’m laughing. I can’t remember what Peter said (now as I type), but I’m laughing and I know that he loves it when he can make me really laugh. He’s across the table from me and we are both savoring our meals, savoring this time together, away from children, from work, from everything. It’s just us.
We drive, in the rain-slash-snow, with the music loud. First it’s Bon Iver, and hearing it loud totally changes everything. On the way to the theatre, it’s Andrew Belle, that soulful voice and intricate fingering on the guitar. The night feels magical as we speed down the road together, staying in the moment yet remember all that has happened since we said “I do” 8 years ago.
I remember that day, how the weather was perfect after two days of cold weather and almost-snow. I remember crying when my curls fell out of my hair before the ceremony even began, and how I thought Peter looked angry as I walked down the aisle, but he was just working so hard at not totally bursting into tears. I remember how much fun we had taking pictures, and how when we were on the bridge in the park, some totally random guy in a canoe floated up singing “Beautiful One” by Tim Hughes (which was brand new at the time) and strumming along on guitar. I remember our honeymoon, sitting in the hot tub on the roof of our houseboat on the Shuswap and knowing that I had never seen so many stars in the sky ever in my life, even though I had grown up on the prairies — I knew that God painted that sky just for us.
It’s been eight years since that day, and we have laughed lots, but we have also cried. There have been times that I have been so foolish, so irrational, so downright sinful. And there have been times that Peter has too. We have wrestled and struggled with one another, in the end, always surrendering to love, to forgive one another. And this is my favorite part of marriage: the trust that I have in Peter that no matter how many faults I have, he forgives me and loves me just as I am, and I choose to do the same for him. We have that safety in each other.
For better and for worse we said, and sometimes it’s worse, but love and forgiveness always makes it better.
“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” – Ephesians 4:2
(PS – that picture up there was taken in Tartu, Estonia in 2010.)