It’s been a rough few days for me around here. I hate to even complain because I do know how lucky I am to have these three kids. And I really do love them so so much. I’m just really tired. I’d appreciate it if you’d pray for me to find joy in serving these innocent little people, and to serve them as if serving the Lord.
Sometimes it just feels like their sole purpose is to make messes for me to clean up. I look around my house right now and see clutter on every surface, cupboard doors left open, toys everywhere, crumbs and Cheerios stuck to my feet, and piles of laundry everywhere. I feel so oppressed by this mess; no matter how much I rage against it, it still comes back. And I feel unable to keep up with day to day stuff let alone any other things that need to get done and the to do list just keeps getting longer and longer but I can barely complete a single task without being interrupted by a fight, or someone’s hurt themselves or needs food. Food, for crying out loud! Do they really need 3 balanced meals a day and snacks too? Don’t even get me started on food. I’m so worried about my kids nutrition because it’s so hard to get healthy stuff into them. Not only do kids have needs but so do husbands and isn’t it a good idea to pay attention to them too? Oh and that God guy too, and man I just am finding it especially hard these last three days to get through the days. At the end of a hard day the other day I ran myself a hot bath and the whole time, Ezra was whining and crying to get in with me. Note to self, have hot baths after kids are in bed. Or, I think to myself: “I’m gonna make a latte” and this is around 10am, and I decide I’ll make it after whatever little task I’m doing but then someone needs something or a diaper is needing changed and lunch needs to be made and oh my, I’d better get Ezra down for a nap and the baby needs to be fed and ugh these Cheerios keep sticking to my feet, I’d better sweep the floor and on and on until it’s 5pm and I still haven’t made coffee yet and even if I wanted to or was able to at that point, it’s too late in the day for caffeine! There’s some days I just feel so worn, so unappreciated, so just expected to meet every little demand and to have a smile and do everything perfectly and I sometimes just wish I could have a job outside the home!
Okay, it feels a little different complaining on here for everyone to see but I felt like spilling my guts here because I always write about how lovely everything is and how I adore my kids, and both of which are true but I want everyone to know I’m not some super mom, I’m just me and we all have hard days. Sometimes being a mom is just hard. If there’s just one other mom out there who feels the same as me, well then, at least we have each other. All the rest of y’all can just go on being perfect!
(oh, perfection, Ezra turned off the computer just as I was finishing this post. Icing on the cake ;))