I am so thankful for all of your comments and messages of encouragement. I hope I didn’t worry anyone too much. I was just being honest in the middle of a stressful time! I am feeling much better now. I have lots to be thankful for and God has been giving me a better perspective than what I was buying into before.
I didn’t really sleep much last night. I couldn’t go to sleep because I started making plans for my “new” life sans wedding photography stress. I can’t wait to give my all to Eva. I have lots of great plans for us, and for our family (so watch out Pete!). I’m going to try and implement as much as I can before January, but I know that I still have a lot of work ahead of me so it’s not all going to be possible. Eva is getting to the age where I can use a lot of my skills that I learned during my Early Childhood Educator days and I’m so excited. As I was studying ECE in school I kept thinking about when I would be a mother and that I would most likely use the skills I was learning more with my own children than in the field.
Then I got to sleep but about an hour and a half later Eva woke up and kept waking up a few more times over the next hour or so. Something clicked on in my brain and I couldn’t get my mind off my photography and my new plans for a company “facelift”. I’m really excited about the changes I am going to make and how much better of an experience the client will get when they book me. It will also be a much better experience for me because it will enable me to put a lot more of my heart into each session and each client experience!
The best part is that I think I may have discovered how to balance my home life and my work life, so that I can still do what I love as a mother but also what I love as a photographer.
The worst part is that all of these good thoughts literally kept me up until about 6:30 am. It was awful!
Gotta go, my lovely daughter is needing some cuddle time!