Yesterday I went down to the ole hair salon and caught myself an inverted bob, not above the hairline. That’s hair speak. I’ve learned to speak the language of the stylists.Getting a haircut is always kind of awkward for me, especially with a new stylist. She was asking me all about my life and and I was telling her, and she’d respond with a “COO-ULLL”. In a way I was imagining myself in Laguna Beach with all this kind of talk.
So she’s washing my hair (which feels great) and she asks me what shampoo I use. I tell her Tresseme. The advertisements tell me that it is “Professional and Affordable”. She said, “Okay, ummm, we’re going to have to ask you to stop doing that.” Nervous laughter all around. I guess the Tresseme isn’t as “Ooh la la” as the commercials say. After that, I kept it a secret that I hardly even condition my hair. I was glad because she started telling me that it is soooooooooo important to take care of our hair.
And then, I’m finally in the chair and the chopping begins. I never know where to look. I get sick of starting at myself with the ugly apron in the mirror. And also my hair is everywhere. Screaming infidelities. And it looks a mess. Also, because I know the stylist can see me watching her, and therefore deciding whether or not I like her work, I don’t like to look in the mirror because I feel like I have to be constantly smiling or she’s going to feel like I hate it and I don’t want her to start feeling any pressure because then she might get nervous and her hands might get shaky and she might do a horrible job.
Anyway, in the end, I must’ve looked where I was supposed to and made the right faces because she did a good job and I’m happy with my cut.
(PS – For those who don’t know “screaming infidelities” is a song. It goes like this: “your hair it’s everywhere, screaming infidelities, and taking its wear.” My hair wasn’t literally screaming infidelities, the song just came to mind when I wrote about it being everywhere.)