Well, it’s official.
I am now a stay-at-home Mom.
I had my first day yesterday. Up until yesterday we had a couple of sets of grandparents visiting and helping. And before that, Pete was at home with me. So yesterday was my first official day of being a stay-at-home Mom. You know how first days go. Whenever I start new jobs, the first days are always filled with mixed emotions. Some moments I think I’ll like the job, other times I’m thinking of walking out.
I felt some of those mixed emotions yesterday. Of course it must be said that I love being a mom, I’m sure you already knew that. But yesterday brought many-a-doubt of my capability, the future, how to handle things, should she be allowed to drink pop, how do I get her to sleep on her own, will she love me?
Eva (prononced ee-va) didn’t have such a great day yesterday. I’m pretty sure she misses all of her grandparents. And her daddy. She had an upset tummy and would hardly sleep.
Later in the evening she slept and I cried while I held her, memorizing her little face, thinking of how she is going to grow into a woman and thinking of how she is truly a gift. It was a moment. I was also watching “World Trade Center” so that didn’t help the range in emotions.
Anyway, today is day two of being a SAHM. Little things like being able to go to the bathroom or get yourself some lunch get put off until you have met the needs of your child. Today I put Eva down in her playpen so I could do a little task, and now she is completely asleep.
She did it all by herself.
She’s practically a genius.