I was pretty nervous about what it be like to be outnumbered. I was also nervous about having two under two. Life felt so busy just with two, what would three be like?
I remember after Ezra was born just feeling like I was spinning in circles for a while. I’d start a task, someone would need something, someone else would need something, the phone would ring, someone would need something else and then I’d think, okay, what was I doing again?
We’ve been on our own for a week now, and I’ve had three evenings where Peter has had meetings and I’ve been on my own for bedtime. I haven’t felt that same feeling of being overwhelmed, thankfully. Not yet, anyway. I’m sure there will be days, and I’m sure it will change as Isaac gets older. I think I’m pretty used to having my days so busy with kids and full of household tasks, that adding Isaac in doesn’t change a whole bunch.
It isn’t always easy to give everyone all the attention they want, but Eva and Ezra have been pretty good. They definitely have been fighting a lot more over toys and just generally bugging one another, but who knows if that is them acting out because of a new baby or just acting their age. Maybe a bit of both, but that kind of behaviour is just to be expected at this point. I do find myself with a bit shorter of a fuse and it does feel like I’m constantly saying “No! Don’t! Stop!” to Eva and Ezra, but I’m trying to make up for it by having special one-on-one time with them when I can, even if just for a few minutes.
I love mothering with experience under my belt. When it was just Eva, everything overwhelmed me and I didn’t know what I should do. Her first year seemed really long, because I didn’t understand that phases come and go fairly quickly, even if they feel like they will last forever at the time. Now that I’m taking care of my third newborn, I’m not as uptight and just do what works for my family without worrying too much about the opinions of “experts” (that includes other more-seasoned mothers).
It helps that the Es love little I also. Ezra is always saying “hi bay-ee!” or “hi eyes-ih (Isaac)!” in a really high pitched voice. Everything Isaac does makes Ezra smile or giggle. The only time it’s been hard with them is if I’m nursing right after nap when Ezra wants to cuddle.
And Eva just loves being Isaac’s big sister. She has decided she is going to marry Isaac now instead of Ezra, partly because Isaac is so cute and partly because Ezra said no (he said yes to Mama though). She loves looking at his little fingers and toes and the little finger- and toenails. She always says, “Isaac is just so cute!” or “Isaac is just so cute, I can’t even handle it!”.
Going from one to two and two to three, before the new baby comes you just can’t even imagine your family being any different, can’t imagine that your heart can grow and stretch and that there could be anymore room for anyone else. But it really does, and after a while, you just can’t imagine life without that little person.