I never knew how hard it would be to love them.
To really love them.
To treat them as if they are Christ.
To love them in Spirit — love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
I didn’t realize that mothers and children are both equally sinful. I didn’t realize that at times our sins, theirs and mine, would be like rough edges grinding into the other. I didn’t realize I had so many rough edges.
Sometimes, such ugliness comes out of me as a mother. I say things and do things that I do not want to do.
Yet, Christ continues to work in me. He uses my children as a lens for me to see my sin — without them, I may not have even known it was there. No other experience has brought me to my knees in prayer as much as Motherhood.
Please God, I need patience.
Please God, help me be self-controlled.
Please God, let me be a kind, gentle mother today.
Please God, help me be loving and good in every moment.
Please God, help me be a good mother to my children.
I have seen myself Mother without Christ. Oh, I am a terrible Mother without Him. I am selfish. I yell. I feel resentment. I lose my temper. And when it’s all said and done, I feel awful. It brings my knees to the floor and tears to my eyes.
Oh, I am a terrible Mother without Him.
Oh, but his grace. His grace is sufficient for me. When I am weak, there is more room for God to work through me. I call on Him, and he works in me. He works on those rough edges, with love, and forgives me.
May I Mother in His grace today, and every day.
May His power shine through my weakness, as I lean on Him to make me a great Mother.