I decided I wanted to be baptized right after I heard someone in church speaking about the Holy Spirit guiding and leading you as a Christian. I imagined the Spirit inside of me, running through my veins, making my every move. I felt such relief. Such peace. How amazing to let God be in charge, my only duty to live a life of “yes”, a life of obedience to his leading. I went up to our Minister immediately after church and told him that I wanted to be baptized.
“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.” – Psalm 127:1
It is not always so simple to follow the Spirit; our vanity gets in the way. God tells us in Psalm 127:1 that unless God is the one building our lives, everything else we do is in vain. It is useless. Oh, I found this to be such a good reminder. I felt such relief when I read this verse yesterday morning. Everything that I do in my life, in my home, with my children, my to-do lists, my ministries, everything needs to come from his leading. If it doesn’t come from him, it comes from me, and there is no point in pursuing it any longer. God has a plan. God knows best. What relief to be reminded that all I need to do is seek his kingdom and righteousness and everything else will be taken care of (paraphrased from Matthew 6:33).
Sometimes, I’m just trying to get everything done on my own will-power. I almost always feel stressed when I’m trying to do everything myself. Or trying to fit too much in. I don’t think God wants that, I don’t think he wants us to be so busy doing things that we are not bearing any fruits of His Spirit. But sometimes it happens.
“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain n the vine. Neither you can bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:4-5
I am fruitless when I try to do it on my own, yet I am surprised I am fruitless. I get mad at myself for being fruitless. I get impatient with myself for not having patience. At the time it seems just, but thinking on it now, isn’t it just so silly? Why do I fill my life up with so many things to do and forget that my first priority should be to seek the Lord?
It’s totally true, too, what Jesus says. I see it in my life. When I remain in Jesus, when I abide in Him, when I make my number one priority to spend time with Him first, my days are easier. I hear his voice in the small, chaotic moments. Those moments where I want to scream at my children, but instead I react in a calm, patient, loving way. That is not me. Those are powerful, God-driven moments where the Spirit is working in my heart, changing me. Such a tiny moment tucked in with a series of moments that make up a day, but it is a God-moment; it is huge. On the days where I don’t spend time with him, I am not seeking Him. I don’t hear Him. I am becoming less and less fruitful.
How can I be so forgetful? Such a clumsy, sin-sick, woman? I am so thankful for his grace. So thankful that he works in our hearts, he continues to teach us and love us, despite our daily sin. What a beautiful, heavenly Father. This is what inspires me to get up in the morning and spend time with Him. This is what makes me drag my sleepy head from my warm pile of blankets and gently sleeping husband, tiptoe through the house as my little ones gently rest. These God-moments make it all worth it. He is changing me through reading his word and spending time with Him.
And he will change you too.
Are you making it a priority to spend time with the Lord? If so, or if not, how is it impacting you?
This post is linked up as a part of Women In the Word Wednesdays at Good Morning Girls