Before I was a mother, I desired to be a mother.
Before I was a mother, I dreamed of spending my days with my children, loving them, always speaking kindly, reading books, exploring our worlds, learning. Creating art, every day, of course. It would just be a part of our lives.
Before I was a mother, I studied Early Childhood Education. I thought to myself, “every parent should take this course before having children!” I was so pleased that I was privy to such knowledge and had many plans to use said knowledge as a mother.
Before I was a mother, I envisioned what I would be like as a mother.
A perfect mother, of course.
After I became a mother, something happened. Blame it on sleepless nights, post-partum depression, laziness, or insecurites, somewhere along the way I let go of the kind of mother I desired to be before I was a mother.
After I became a mother, I listened to others more than my own intuition.
After I became a mother, I longed for something more, to be a different kind of mother, but felt overwhelmed and alone in my desires.
After I became a mother, I gave up.
But not anymore. I feel like I have gone from aspiration, to devastation, to stagnation, and now, to inspiration.
I have realized that it is never too late for me to be the kind of mother I wanted to be. I am starting a new chapter in my motherhood story, and I’m inviting you to come along with me. It is my hope that we can encourage one another, converse with one another, and build one another up as we journey together.
It is never too late to take the first step.