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Progress Report

I cut my bangs today.  Baby bangs.  Like I used to have when Peter and I first met.  Well not quite the same.  But similar.  Pete said maybe I should wait until after the family reunion… you know, in case the bangs don’t look so good.  But I was sick of the other bangs.  They were never doing what I wanted them to do.  I started out just trimming them.  But then I went all the way.  So look good or not, me and my bangs will be at the family reunion.

Then I went to Oak Bay to scout out some locations for my photo shoot tomorrow.  I am tres behind in my wedding editing and holidays are just around the corner.  I’m not sure what I’m going to do now, or in the next couple months when I have a million photoshoots and weddings.  Sigh.  Childcare is always a pain to find, and I never have enough time in the day to do my work, or love on my family.

Something has got to give.

I’ve been listening to some sermons online while editing and one that I was listening to the other day was talking about how when Jesus is in the desert, Luke says that the devil tempted him for 40 days and then went away to wait for a better time.  The better time for  “the devil” (this kind of language always bothers me, but I don’t know how else to describe him) will attack you when you are in your valley.  In the low places.  When you are busy, when you are stressed, when it’s a bad time.  I have definitely have felt like I’m under attack these last couple of months, with big temptations all around me, and lots of negativity going on in my mind.

I originally started listening to that sermon because I felt like I needed to do something to get myself out of this funk I’m in.  I picked it because it was called “Time for  Breakthrough”.  Time, it definitely is.  I don’t know if I’m ever going to stop going from one extreme to the next; from feeling so close to God one week to feeling so far from Him the next.  I’m more than a little tired of it.  But I guess that’s just who I am right now, and I hope that the space between feeling close and feeling far will just keep getting wider and wider.

So thanks for listening all about my life and encouraging me to keep on.  I don’t mean to be so dramatic all the time, so thanks for putting up with me.  I could really use some intervention, so if you could intercede on my behalf, and I mean full-on pentecostal style, that’d be sweet.  Tell that devil to get the heck away from me.  I think I need some of that right now.

(heck’s a funny word isn’t it?)

June 20, 2008 - 4:59 pm kelli - i also cut my own hair today. but not bangs. just all the back. so it could be like that katie holmes bob. all the kids are doing it. and you know how trendy i am.

June 24, 2008 - 11:20 am Shantala - I feel your frustration with your walk with God. I think everyone I know is going through a "funk" time right now... including me. I think the biggest thing to remember is that God is faithful. Even when we feel like we are far away He is ALWAYS there. Try not to focus so much on where you are at... try and simply focus on who God is. What he has promised you. Who He has made you to be. If we get too caught up in trying trying trying... we forget to just be still and know that He is GOD. He is in control of everything. He sees you exactly where you are. He LOVES you exactly where you are. You can't make him love you more by having a great walk with Him. He loves you completly. I have been trying to just rest in that knowledge... and simplify my life. Its exactly as you said... something has to give... In the hustle and bustle of life... let God be your constant. Hold on the tightest to him. He will faithful and loving to the very end! Just a little encouragment for you lots of love Shantala

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