Despite my overwhelming feelings, one thing that I have really been enjoying lately is the sunshine. I have been mostly enjoying it because it has brought Eva and myself outside! She loves walking around by herself outside. Miss Independent. I have loved watching her as she toddles along the street or driveway, along the path to Steve & Joan’s, and as she explores the park, the farm animals, life in general. We’ve been having these little moments lately, reading books together, playing, being outdoors. It is wonderful. I mean it. Full of wonder. Good times.
Also, today I had meet my FriendSpeak reader (for those who don’t know, FriendSpeak is a text that has taken the book of Luke and put it into simple English to help those for whom English is a second language). We were on Lesson 10, where the “sinful woman” is crying at Jesus’ feet and pouring perfume all over them and the Pharisees think it’s crazy that Jesus would even talk to her… not to mention what a “waste” of perfume! My reader and I had such a great talk about forgiveness and shame. She is going back to Korea in March and I am very sad! Who will I go to Starbucks with? But more importantly, I just love my friend! We always have the best conversations! That can sometimes be hard with FriendSpeak, especially if your reader isn’t interested in the spiritual aspect or if their English isn’t so easy to understand.
And of course, doing FriendSpeak today has got me thinking about Estonia and my friends there and how much I love them and long to see them. And I keep asking God “when?” “how?”. I still don’t have any answers. This program is so important to me… and I just keep getting this tug on my heart about starting up FriendSpeak here and then going from there. So we will see.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. More thinking than praying really, which doesn’t really make any sense, but what I’ve come up with from all this thinking is that I need to be praying. (Like, duh.) Because the more I think, the more I think I know, and the more I think I know, the more I realize I don’t know anything and I have to pray. So I think I’m going to go do that.