Now… and past.

I just came across this memorial website for a little girl named Ava who passed away tragically in February 2007.  You can read the story here.  Of course while reading this I can’t help but put myself in their shoes, thinking about losing someone so close to me… my beautiful child or my wonderful husband.

Earlier tonight I rocked Eva to sleep listening to her lullaby CD that Grandma LaVonne gave to her.  That CD usually makes me feel like crying and I’m not really sure why.  It is classic lullaby songs but they are just so beautiful and I think it just makes me feel nostalgic.  I was rocking Eva and looking at her, loving her, the way she was so cuddled into me, how she needed me, and how comfortable, peaceful and loved she must have felt that she could fall asleep in my arms.  I looked around at her room and thought about how this is now but in the blink of an eye it will be past.  Once I put her down I gave thanks to God that Eva has such a comfortable and peaceful place to sleep, a soft blankie and loving parents.  She is a gift, a blessing, given to us.  I am so thankful for her.

Of course I know that life is not always full of happy times.  God gives and takes away, and every experience is a chance to grow closer to Him.  Often times we do not see hard times as good times, because we like everything to be easy.  As difficult as it can be, I strive to be thankful even for the hard times because I know that God’s plan is bigger and better than mine.  Life is very good and very sweet right now and I am purposefully taking notice.  This is now and someday will be past and while there might not necessarily be tragedy in life, there is the possibility that there could be.  Life can be hard, but God is always good.

Thank you Lord for everything.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  May you be my strength, every day, through easy times and difficult.

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One thought on “Now… and past.

  1. Jessie

    This was touching Chels. Working on pediatrics for the past few months with sick babies/children and their families has forced me to be oh so thankful for this blessing of a life i have been given. But it also makes me so sad to see those whose lives have been torn by illness or accident. And even in the short time i have been there, i have seen a lot of hurt. I truly don’t believe anyone knows what it is like to lose a child unless they lose one themselves, but i do think we can at least reflect on what we need to thank God for as well as what we can do to support another’s pain.

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