I don’t think I know anyone who likes going to the dentist. All the poking, and the drills, and the dreaded question: “Have you been flossing?” I shudder. Mostly because, if you want the truth, no. No, I haven’t been flossing. But this time I thought I could trick her. I made sure to floss right before my appointment. Before leaving, I checked my reflection in the mirror and scoffed. She’s not gonna get me this time.
I enter the dentist office snickering, but the dentist is very smart. She didn’t waste any time. She had her silver pokey out and was poking me under the gums and she knew. She told me that my gums wouldn’t be so tender with the silver pokey if I flossed regularly. Drat. She was wise to the whole sham.
So she’s going along poking me in the gums, saying “Distal buccal this, Bicuspid that, two-two-two, three-two-two,” so on and so forth. Now I’m no longer relying on my freshly flossed teeth to impress the dentist, but my wisdom teeth that have been coming in no problem. I think to myself, “Surely she will be enthused with how wonderful and problem-free my latest teeth are.” She starts asking me about them… “Any pain?”
“No, no Ms. Dentist ma’am. No pain other than regular teething pain. They are coming in pretty nicely I’d say.”
“Welllll…” she says. And then. She says it. “Those teeth are gonna have to come out.”
I am sorely disappointed. I thought my ivories would be a real hit, but apparently not. As I’m making my next appointment I tell the receptionist that late morning would be good, as I have a 6-month-old baby at home and need to sleep when I can, so an appointment too early won’t work for me.
The dentist overhears and tells me, “I would’ve went easier on you about the flossing if I knew you had a 6-month-old at home!”
Yesssssss, off the hook.