my God is love.
i’m a girl born with a heart of tar, working to better my inner-self so that i can better the world with my outward-contribution. i try to love, but sometimes i find myself hating. i’m striving for virtue, sometimes i find myself in a lack of agreement with God. i’ve been born and i’ve died. i want to live my life giving to others without expecting anything in return but it’s hard when you’re so selfish. i want unity with God, unity with believers, but sometimes i separate myself from both of them. i’ve been transformed and i want to help change the world but sometimes i just don’t care. i have a purpose, a mission, yet sometimes i forget. you might find me deeply spiritual, but you might find me deeply worldly. sometimes in harmony, sometimes not. sometimes believing, sometimes not.
and so it goes.
love/hate. strife/discord. birth/death. altruism/selfishness. unity/separation. transformation/apathy. purpose/forgetfulness. spiritual/worldly. accord/inconsistency. belief/disbelief.
i have a hard time being the person that i want to be.
but i’m trying.
if i’ve been reminded of one thing lately it is how sinful i am.
awareness of how sinful i am reminds me of how little i know and how much i need God. how much we all need Him. how we can’t do anything without Him. how grateful i am that even though i forget i’m a sinner, God knows and loves me. he knows the desires in my heart and he keeps teaching me.
i want to be everything for him, but he says his grace is good enough. he’s set me free from all that i can’t yet be. but i’m on my way, i promise. every day i’m going to keep going. one day at a time.
my God is love. my God is love.